by Jimmi Bayer
1. John Mayer – Heavier Things
This guy had so much potential. His second album could have set him way above the cheesy ass rip-offs, i.e. Jason Mraz. But instead, the lyrics are shallow, the music boring, and the overall experience: shit. It was bad enough to get to #1 on this list. I’ve read shampoo labels more interesting than this album – let’s hope it’s a phase.
2. Limp Bizkit – Results May Vary I take back everything I said about John Mayer. Just read the above and pretend I said it about Limp Bizkit. Also, in between every sentence, add “Fuck Fred Durst!” If I could have had anything for Christmas, I would have taken their record contract and given it to someone who still had a pulse. Fuck Fred Durst.
3. Dashboard Confessional – A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
Places You Have Come To Fear The Most was amazing. This… this is garbage. If I had made a list titled “Albums You Have Come To Fear The Most,” this would be numero uno.
4. Liz Phair – Liz Phair
I used to want to marry Liz Phair. Now, after this album, I just want to bang her and never return her phone calls.
5. Rancid – Indestructable
This album doesn’t suck like the rest of the albums on this list suck. This is a conceptual suckage. I don’t see why, a decade after exploding onto the scene, Tim Armstrong saw it fit to go pop. I’m a huge Rancid fan, always have been, always will be, but I feel as if the heart has been ripped from the corpse of punk rock. I can only hope that the fair-weather, Hot Topic worshipping fans will come and go, and Rancid will stand strong. If not, I’ll always have my vinyl of And Out Come The Wolves. ALWAYS!
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